So my train of thought lately is... why can't we all have crystal balls that will give us the right advice.

I dont want to settle, accept that its impossible to find someone THAT compatible for me and just be happy I've found a guy I can at the very least be friends with. But then again, what if I'm being incredibly stupid and sap, waiting for some ridiculous pigment of my imagination to just walk through the door one day. Sadly I seem to be incredibly picky with these things. Things would be so much easier for me if I could just force myself to be realistic. But then again, what if I'm not asking too much.

I've tried to just push all this stuff aside and just be with someone who I really do genuinly like... that lasted about two weeks. So clearly there's something wrong here. And I can't pinpoint the exact problem so I can fix it. Whenever I try to explain all 'this' I come to same conclusion. It just dosn't feel right. It feels like I'm selling myself short and saying that I don't deserve anything better.

[I should be doing my essay so I'll just leave it there] So, if we infact did have those crystal balls the first thing I'd ask is "Am I living in a Disney movie and being incredibly unrealistic or doing the right thing?" Guess we'll never know...

I hate second thoughts -_-