despite the fact that my smile here makes me look like a vampire
[kudos to the unnaturally pointy teeth for that one]
i do love these two girls. my sidekicks in crime and japanese class ^ ^

Today was Thursday. Thursday the 15th. Thursday the 15th of October. On Thursday the 15th of October, I had a bit of a lightbulb moment.

If I''m not happy with my situation, no one's going to go altering the world for me. I have to do it myself. I know people go in and out of these epiphanies all the time and there's no guarantee that this one is any different. I just hope it lasts. And I'll do my best. It would be a relief if one day my reality can be just as good and satisfying as my daydreams.

And I think I am starting to get to that point. It is true that my way of thinking and perspective on the world may be a bit odd and naive to some people. But I should stop holding that over my own head. There's too much good stuff going on right now to miss out. It's funny actually, last time I wrote I was under the firm belief that karma hated me. But maybe its one of those 'need something bad to happen to see just how lucky you are' scenarios. Like I said before, I was lucky to have friends who care this much about me and my mental state ^ ^ Just yesterday I was [I'm embarrassed to say] surprised a little but touched that one of my friends was worrying about me a bit more than he let on.

So with all this support how can I not try and give this a shot. Putting myself out there and accepting that life's not perfect and bad things happen. There are points where you feel like every force and element in the world is out to make everything just a bit harder. But then you get the good bits. And I'm willing to risk that.

And do realize that this entry has almost zero real information but if your slightly confused just read the last one. Should make a bit more sense ^ ^ Oh, and I discovered today that I have learnt close to 150 kanji this year yet I apparently would not stand a chance at passing Year 3 Japanese.

Enough said...